Seven Questions for 'Safety Chick' Kathleen Baty

According to the FBI, violent crimes, including rape, are down nationwide. But that hardly means neighborhoods such as Eagle Rock, despite their communal traditions and friendly ambience, aren't at risk anymore, according to police authorities and local Neighborhood Watch block captains.

How do you keep your kids safe while at the same time fostering a sense of community in them? Few people know the answer to that question better than Kathleen Baty, CEO of SafetyChick Enterprises. A journalist, author and motivational speaker, Baty was stalked for 15 years by a man who was her classmate at high school and had a crush on her. He eventually kidnapped her and held her hostage at knife-point. Along with U.S. Congressman Ed Royce of the 40th district of California, Baty played a major role in the passage of the nation's first anti-stalking law in 1996, according to Audra McGeorge, a spokesperson at the congressman's office in Washington D.C.

A resident of the San Francisco Bay Area, Baty graduated from UCLA and knows Los Angeles well. Her latest book, College Safety 101: Miss Independent's Guide to Staying Safe and Smart on Campus, is scheduled to be published in the spring of 2011. Baty plans to give a reading from it at Occidental College right here in Eagle Rock.

Here, she uses her lifelong experience as a stalking victim and safety expert to answer questions about how to keep your kids safe in the neighborhood.

What basic safety measures should kids take as they walk to school or around their neighborhoods?

The number one rule for kids when walking anywhere is "always have a buddy." The old saying, "safety in numbers," is absolutely true. Criminals look for the easiest targets: A young child walking down the street alone fits that bill.

A lot of parents allow their kids to walk to school—or would like that practice to make a comeback in their communities. There's even a website that advocates giving your children "free range"—allowing them to run around the city a little more freely. Your advice?

I totally agree! But it depends on the age of the children and the type of city or neighborhood you live in. For example, I let my oldest son start walking to school with the other kids in the neighborhood when he was about 9 or 10. It wasn't until he was 12 that I let him walk downtown with his friends. Every child is different, so you as a parent have to assess their maturity, and decide when your child is ready to be responsible for his or her own personal safety.

You also have to set the ground rules of what/where they can and can't go, what time they need to be home, etc. Most kids in this day and age have cell phones, so that makes checking in a lot easier. It is important to empower your children by letting them be responsible for getting from point A to point B safely, and teach them how to make smart personal safety choices along the way.

What should a child do if he or she is walking down the street, a van pulls up and the driver gets out and approaches the child?

First of all, no child should be walking down the street alone. While walking to or from school, it is great to walk in groups. But the important thing to impress upon your child is this: Adults do not ask children for help. So if someone approaches them to ask for directions, help finding a pet, etc. that child's red flag must go up—he or she needs to turn and run the other way or cross the street. If they are truly in fear, they should run to a neighbor's house or a store or business—run inside yelling for help and have someone call 911. Above all else, never, never, approach a vehicle that has pulled over, and if someone tries to grab a child, the child should kick, scream, yell, punch—whatever it takes—but never get into that car.

And let me be clear about something: Bad guys don't just drive vans. Any car that pulls up next to your child is a potential threat; they need to be alert and aware.

How can a child learn to identify what you call "intuitive body signals" and what are the areas of "personal safety" where a child is most vulnerable?

Start talking to your children at a very early age about "intuitive body signals," the most valuable tool that we all have for assessing danger. Give them examples of what those signals might feel like—a chill down their back, butterflies in their stomach, etc.  Impress upon them that they need to pay attention to those signals and react to them—whether it is calling you to come pick them up if they are over at a friend's house and feel uncomfortable for some reason, or if they are walking home and get that chill down their spine. They need to be aware of their surroundings and assess the situation. Every child should know what a wonderful, innate gift intuitive body signals are—their secret weapon in staying safe from crime.

One of the most vulnerable areas of personal safety—situations in which young children are most vulnerable to threats—is getting from point A to point B safely. A lot can happen in a few blocks. As children get older, they are exposed to more safety issues.

How can parents be vigilant about their kids without being draconian?

Caring about your personal safety is the greatest gift that you can give yourself. It's not about being paranoid—it's about being smart. This is a lifestyle choice, so parents as well as their children need to participate. Open communication, role-playing with your child about different situations they might find themselves in and what they would do in those situations, is a great way to start. Empowering your kids to make smart personal safety choices translates into every aspect of their lives.

The bottom line is: Kids spend their young lives wanting independence and when they reach a certain age they also think they know much more than their parents. Babying, lecturing or scaring them doesn't work. Acting neurotic or paranoid only leads to children tuning out and missing the valuable information you as a parent are trying to impart. Take the team approach—encourage your kids to care about their personal safety--in a positive and fun way. Leave the negative scary stuff to the movies.

What steps can college-aged women take to avoid being victims of sexual assault, both by strangers and in situations involving date rape?

The most common factor in the majority of sexual assaults/date rapes in college involves alcohol. The same safety rule applies—always have a buddy, and safety in numbers. Date rape drugs are extremely dangerous because they are odorless and tasteless. Never accept a drink someone just hands you, never drink out of a punch bowl, and always keep your drink in your hand. Remember this Safety Chick tip: When in doubt, pour it out. True safety chicks always have each other's back—and make sure everyone gets h­ome safely!

What's your view of community parenting, the idea that it takes a village, especially neighbors and friends, to raise a child?

Living in a community with friends and neighbors who care and watch out for your children makes life that much easier. But keeping your children safe starts at home—it is up to you, the parent, to instill in your children the gift of caring about their personal safety. Through education and empowerment, every child can grow up confident, smart and safe.